Sharing is Caring

So, nobody tells you when you have children, nothing is yours, not even a good 5 mins.  Candy and sweets don't even exist without a little person attached to it.  I swear, everytime I open a candy wrapper or, in my case, my orange cupcake wrapper these kids can hear that sound from outside. I can be upstairs calling their whole names- NOBODY HEARS! But, let me think about candy.  It's like these kids pop out of the wall.  Where did they come from?! Can't find a matching sock, but somehow manage everytime to find hidden candy.

Every mother who has children that can move knows the feeling when you go to the bathroom and hear some little person moving across the floor.  OMG that little shadow under the bathroom door-the DREAD!!!  These little humans don't care.  They don't care that you just need 5 mins to yourself to get your mind right to deal with them.  Had a long day at work? Don't care. Mommy too tired to see straight. Don't care, what's for dinner?  Then, they get to talking and my inner voice has a whole cussing out.

child: "What are you doing?"
head voice: "Minding my MF business..."

child: "Why?"
head voice: "Because I'm grown AF and I MF want to!"

Can't do that in real life though, because they are children. And nobody wants to get that phone call from the school.  Some too good teacher calling talking about, "Ms. Walker, I'm calling from such and such school to inform you that..."

head voice: "First of all..."

Now, you're a bad parent, because little humans don't come with instructions (eye roll).  Ion have time. These kids are #superpetty.