Dear Sallie

So when you are growing up, everybody is like, "yeah you should go to college and get a degree. That'll give you a good job, and you can make a lot of money."  First of all...LIES!!!   Knowing what I know now, I don't regret going to college (hell I did it 2 times) but I wish I was smarter about the financial part.  Like MF student loans!  

Everytime I think about Sallie Mae I'm mad.  Me and Sallie ain't friends and she get on my whole nerve. Then I think, if Sallie Mae were a person, what type of person would she be (because I don't have good sense, and ya'll know this).  This is what I came up with.

If Sallie were a person, she'd be a deadbeat daddy trying to claim his kids on his taxes.  All year long you do next to nothing for your kids, but you think you supposed to get money back for daycare fees and living expenses (petty).

Sallie Mae is like the best/worse madam. She is like, "yeah I'll give you everything you want, all you gotta do is pay me back when you making that big money."  And you be like, "yeah Sallie good looking out."  You get your degree and you start your new job at...McDonald's. Then you say, "hey Sallie, ion have your money, that degree I got didn't get that job, can you give me a break?" Sallie be like, "nah, I need my money. You can pay me today or I can add more interest and you can pay me everything next year."

Then, if you don't pay, Sallie be like Rihanna, "B*tch better have my money." If you don't, guess what?  Sallie is shutting down everything.  You can't get no house, no car, no nothing.  Sallie start taking your WHOLE tax returns like Debo. Now, your mama "living at home with you."