What Comes after 8?

Soo, over the years phones have gotten extra advanced  and extra expensive for no reason.  Now, instead of companies offering free phones you gotta finance your cell phone.  Listen, I'll finance a car, and a house, but why is my cell phone even in the same category? Foolishness.

I won't say any names (petty), but one of these companies have lost their whole entire mind!!!  The fact that they can't count is the first indication.  If you, as a company, can't count to 10, we all have bigger problems.  Somebody sat in an office and said, "we can do whatever we want, let's skip a number and charge 1k for our phones!"  FIRST OF ALL, if I am paying 1k for a cell phone, I'm RICH.  I don't mean I have a million, I mean I have BILLIONS of dollars, and I throw money away (like in the trash) for fun.  If not, then that phone had better be a whole life saver.

I'm saying for 1k this phone better:

• know all the backroads to avoid traffic (because I'm basically a trucker without the truck- or the pay)
• come with a gas can attached and refill my tank everytime I'm low (I just stay on the road)
• run background checks on every dude I come in contact with, and play dead whenever anybody but me picks it up
• oh, and when I do some petty sh*t, this phone better high five and give suggestions for a better petty (some of 2017 petty carried over-I'm a work in progress, don't judge)

I have so many questions about this phone.  Does this phone build-a-man?!  Does it come with a GPS to find my billions?  You know what else I can do with 1k?  How much is that in groceries?! Who is going to pay for this, because the way these student loans is set up (insert eye roll)...I cain't with yall!