Tiny Toys

So in light of Christmas, one thing has been on my mind. Tiny toys. Anybody who has ever stepped on a Lego will understand the dread of that sharp pain shooting through your foot up through your knees to the tip of your tongue. And in that moment you want to scream, but you can't, because your brain can't process WTF just happened.  Well, I'll tell you WTF just happened. You've just stepped on a TINY TOY. 

I swear on everything, if I step on one more Lego or LOL doll piece imma lose it! What idiot genius decided to make these tiny weapons for kids?! Everytime I look at these tiny pieces, I immediately want to throw them in the trash! Where is my vacuum?! Just "throw the whole room away!"

If you walk into your child's room without shoes and the floor is covered with Legos or any other tiny toy, just walk away. This room is now a battle ground, and you need not enter for your own safety. The threat is real, ABORT!

What makes it so bad is when you buy your children the big expensive toys, they just want to play with, wait for it- the box.  For all this I could have just gone to Uhaul and got an empty box.  Apparently an empty box=hours of fun?! Swear I don't get it. But why can't they just put the tiny toys inside the f*ckn box?! Is that too much to ask?

Job Description

Why is it that when companies list job requirements they don't make any type of sense?! Like, it'll be a cashier position, but you want folks to have years of random experience. First of all, it's a cashier. Can you add and subtract? Can you read? Do you steal? Can you say please, thank you, and press the damn button is all ya'll need to know.  Interview should last all of 5 minutes.

Then there are the "corporate" jobs. You know, the ones where the people won't retire and when they finally do, the company posts the job looking for someone with 6 college degrees and 20 years of experience. How?! According to these requirements you basically want somebody that started their career when they were 5?! Makes a lot of sense right?!

And then, there are the jobs with this whole list of what they expect.  Ya'll want somebody to speak 5 languages, work all hours of the day, wear these f*cked up uniforms, and act like they want to be there- but nothing about benefits. Wait, what?!  Funny.

These companies develop whole philosophies and things their employees are supposed to be excited about, negating the fact that when it really comes down to it...nobody wants to work. How many folks get up and go to jobs everyday thinking about their side hustle?  That speaks for itself. Almost anybody who thinks about winning the lottery has quitting their job listed as their top 5 things to do when they get that check.  Buuut...the way these bills set up- here we are.  Welcome to adulthood. I don't know about ya'll, but I'm over it.

Really?!

Have you ever gone someplace where it's just grown folks and you see something so ridiculous all you can say is, "really?!"  I won't say where this particular location is, but almost everytime I go into the bathroom (in a building full of grown *ss people) there is at least one stall can't nobody use. They can't use it because somebody put a wad of toilet paper in the toilet.  Who does this?  Do they try this at home?!  They went in the bathroom, did whatever, and decided, "let me ball up this tissue and stuff it in the toilet."  I'm confused??

Since we're on bathroom behaviors, have you ever been in the bathroom with somebody and they use it and walk right out?  UUHH, you not gonna wash your hands? You just gonna pull on that handle or push that metal rectangle with your nasty hands?!  I'm not a germophobe, but now I gotta be extra dramatic trynna get the door opened because you touched it with your bathroom hands.  But then ya'll, what make it so bad, you see them 5 mins later eating lunch or shaking somebody hand (sick face).

Then ya'll, I go to the sink to clean out my cup, after the whole bathroom struggle (sigh).  There is a sign, clear as day, that states something along the lines of," please do not dump food in sink, this will cause it to clog."  And for some reason beyond my comprehension, without fail, there are bits of food in the sink.  HUH?!  The sign clearly says...  But, I'll give it to you, maybe you wasn't paying attention, you started dumping, and maybe you saw the sign after?  But at that point, you just not going to clean it up?  You just going to leave it there?!

There are no kids in this building!  These are grown, "professional" people.  I just feel like every night the cleaning crew wanna cuss folks out.  I be mad, I know they like WTF?!  These are grown *ss people ya'll. Really?!